Friday, September 3, 2010

How well do I accept my own aging?

Ten minutes to craft a response.

Age is something that creeps up on you.  For a long time, I have waited for some sort of great epiphany to come as I have gotten older, to know that somehow I am wiser, smarter, more mature.

The sad thing is that I am not.  The one thing that I am convinced of, more and more is that we are who we are,  and even though we add (and lose)  lbs, change haircuts, clothes, cars and careers, we remain who we essentially are.

I remember the births off all of my children,  and the thing that still strikes me the most is that from the second they were born you could already see a glimpse of the person they were going to be some day,  Alex was shy and introspective,  Maddie was unyielding and tough, and Mora was Bright and Sunny.  I didn't fully realize it at the time, but it was there.

The other thing is that sometimes I dont think that time really passes for me.  Every time the weather starts turning cool in fall my mind plays a trick on me and tells me its time to pack up the car and head to Penn State for Fall semester,  even though my freshmen year was almost 30 years ago.  I go into my parents house for Thanksgiving and everyone turns back into parents and children, even though my brother and sisters have families of their own.

So I guess, I dont really feel aging, as a sense of loss, I just feel the sense of grand pageantry as our life experience grows richer and richer.

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